Another Christmas Story

Jack stands looking at the stars. He is there all alone. It’s quite extraordinary moment for this place. Usually the dome is full of people chatting and relaxing in the dim glow of fluorescent floor under bright stars. Jack’s mind is a jumble, he is waiting for Jill… and he is not even sure she will come.

…

Jill is decorating a Christmas tree in the Garden. It’s a beautiful fir, dark green and and now shining beautifully in multicolored lights. She puts up the last row of glowing points and steps back to admire her work. Beautiful. She makes herself busy organizing the seats and setting the table trying to forget all about Jack and his lovely smile. That man had been everything to her a few years back. Light of her life. A true friend. Now she was not even sure if she wanted to see him again. The breakup had been a big misunderstanding and both had been hurt but still… She was afraid.

…

Mara eyes her mother carefully. Her small hands are busy putting together a transport from her LEGOs but her two years old mind is worried about her mom. She is never too busy to pat her head or let her help, but now it seems she has trouble even looking at her. She knows better than to try to talk to mom when she has the blues but this is different. Poor little thing can’t decide whether she should stay away or go over and hug her mother.

…

Marco is also looking at Jill hurrying to get everything ready for the Christmas feast. He too is worried. She is his friend and as a friend once during what Mara so adorably calls the blues she told him all about Jack. The drugs she takes against the depression make her forget what she did while under. She does not even know that he knows. He also sees the confusion in Maras eyes. She too has noticed it. The change. Jack is back. There’s a strange strangling feeling growing in him. His thoughts race.

“I can’t be feeling this! Loving her… Why do I hate that man so much? Because he hurt Jill? Because he’s going to take her away from me?”

Marco pushes his doubts back and steps up to help her.

…

Mara sees Marco approach her mom, nodding to her in passing, and smiles. She rather likes this man with his bald head and green eyes. He never picks her up just like that but instead bends down to greet her and asks her if she wants to come up. She always does. He is nice. Mara puts down her now complete transport and runs to ask if she could go walking on her own for a while.

…

Jill sees Marco approaching and for a moment feels irritated. This man is so nice, so caring and he is just wasting his time with her. He really should find a young loving wife and have a family. He is not getting any younger. But he’s a friend and that is what, Jill feels, she needs now. Mara wants to go wandering again. Relived, she gives her permission knowing that Lainara will watch over her.

…

Mara wonders the empty halls. Everybody are busy preparing for the feast. Usually she finds a nook in some busy hall and watches the people pass. She observes their feet and their faces wondering what they are thinking. Some looks are are void, free of thought. Some are busy with thoughts and needs wiggling behind their eyes like fish in a crowded tank. Then there are a rare few who seem scared but keep going and somehow always know that she is looking and smile at her. But now, there was no-one to look at and she kept wondering until she reached a big door to the Dome. Her little palm print opens it and she steps in. Then she stops with surprise. There’s a man staring at her from across the glowing floor.

…

The noise of the only door opening startles Jack. He turns to face the the newcomer and sees a child standing in the doorway. There is something familiar about this child but Jack just can’t put his finger on it.

“Hello?” The little girls voice is inquisitive.

“Hello.” He smiles. “Should you not be at the feast with your parents?”

“It hasn’t started yet. Lainara will make sure I get there on time. And I only have my mom and she said it’s okay to walk a bit.” The girl seems to be exploding with words, then suddenly becomes thoughtful.

“Why aren’t you at the feast?” she asks.

“I’m waiting for someone…” Jack admits.

The girl giggles. “Were you waiting for me?”

Jack smiles against his will. “Now how can I know that if you won’t tell me your name…” he replies in jest.

“I’m Mara and I’m two years old and I will be a spaceship captain when I grow up.” The impression on her face tells Jack she is quite serious but it’s her name that jogs his memory.

A long time ago Jill had told him her first child, if girl, will be named Mara, Mara-Eternity. And the familiar look of this child. She has Jill’s eyes.

He did his best to cover his shock and tried to find out more about her. He remembered Eternity being the secret name, a name of trust.

“Is Mara your only name?” he asked.

A concentrated look came to the child’s face. “No, but my other name is a secret. If you guess it I can tell you anything you want. Mom said so.”

Jack decides to be sure. “Your other name is Eternity.”

Now the girl is confused. “Only Mom and Marco and and HIM know that name! You are him! You give mom the blues! I hate you!”
And off she runs steaming.

…

Mara runs straight back to the Garden to tell Marco. She would not tell mom - mom might be blue again for almost as long as she was when she got that letter. But soon she tires and her pace slows. When she reaches the Garden dancing had just started. She looks for mom and Marco and sees them quite near. Marco is asking mom to dance. Mara smiles. HE can wait. Mom must dance with Marco. She hides until she’s gone and then takes a seat next to their places.

…

Jack stands frozen. So the little girl was Jill’s. Is Jill married? But why would this child know anything about him? And what is the blues? More questions and not a single answer. He chooses to be decisive.

“Lainara!” He yells on top of his lungs.

“I can hear every whisper, Jack, anywhere in this station and you know that. It’s been a long time.” The voice of a woman seems to come from all directions at once. She sounds irritated.

“Whats going on? Who was that child? Where is Jill?” Jack demands.

“That was Jill’s daughter, Mara. Your and Jill’s to be quite honest. She hates you, because you have hurt her mom. She has seen her on her bad days quite close and personal. As for Jill, she is at the dance in the Garden. She’s dancing with a man who loves her, as she should be.”

“But I love her… What’s wrong with Jill? What’s the “blues” Mara talked about?”

“Jill has manic depressive episodes and she needs medication to keep her from killing herself. It started after you left.” the voice is full of anger. “And now you are leaving again.”

“But…”

“No BUTS!” The voice has become painfully loud. “Go back to your wife on Proxima and her unborn child. Mara has us.” Jack covers his ears and runs. How would she know about them? But a station shell is really not a person. Just a brain in a box. Who knows how they learn anything. On that night’s last shuttle out Jack looks back to the space station he had spent 5 years of his life those years ago, pure relief fills him. Something long due has ended. Time to draw a line and look forward.

…

Mara wakes up when somebody picks her up from the dinner table where she has fallen asleep. Still she pretends to be sleeping. It’s so nice to be carried. It’s Marco who is carrying her but mom walks right next to him. She looks happy. “Good.”, Mara thinks before she dozes off again.

…

Jill looks at the man next to her, carrying her child. Perhaps he is not wasting his time after all. For the first time he sees this friend of her as a man. A strong loving man a woman can rely on. Jack… Is past. She knows it now. This night has given her the clarity. What a wonderful Christmas eve. Tomorrow days are made longer again in the hydroponics, a new cycle begins. Time for a fresh start.